There are lots of movies that either mock or celebrate “love/sexual affairs” between very young men and older women, such as…
Loverboy – comedy – 1989 – Patrick Dempsey, Kirstie Alley
Harold and Maude – 1971 comedy-drama – Bud Cort (The screenplay states that he a “young man of about 20”) – 79 yr old Ruth Gordon
The Graduate – 1967 – 21-year-old Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman), is seduced by an older married woman, Mrs. Robinson.
Green Chair – 2005 – South Korean film about an affair between an attractive thirty-two-year-old woman, Kim, and a youth just short of legal consent (20 in Korea). Interlaced with explicit scenes of love making, the movie watches the two lovers trying to come to grips with their mutual attraction, sexuality and societal disapproval. Kim is arrested and has to spend a few days in prison for the seduction of a minor, before she is set free and sentenced to do some hours of community service. When she is released, the press and Seo-hyun wait for her outside the prison. Kim and Seo-hyun rent a room and stay there for some time, spending much of their time having sex. Kim slowly starts to understand that this relationship won’t work forever, and wants to split up with Seo-hyun. But he insists that he really loves her, and that he won’t let her go. It was a 2005 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection, a 2005 Berlin Film Festival selection and was also shown as the opening movie at the Los Angeles Korean International Film Festival in the same year.
Our Review: Not sure of the point of this film. Is it a criticism of prudish Korean laws since most other countries wouldn’t see the relationship as illegal? The emphasis on heavy sex scenes seems to imply that this is supposed to be a titillating “forbidden love” romance. What if the genders were reversed, would views just see the older person as a predator? Is this film another example of how society is more comfortable with romance between an adult and an illegal age child as long as the child is a boy?
The Boy Next Door – 2015 – Horror/Romance – The film follows a 19 year old boy who, after having a one-night stand with his high school teacher, develops a dangerous and deranged obsession with her.
In the films listed below, the boy is under 18. Ask yourself, “Would the public romanticize these films if the genders were reversed?” We have not seen all of these films, so perhaps some of them demonstrate how extra troubling the relationship can be to a boy and there is some educational merit in them. Let us know what you think.
Summer of ’42 – 1971, A young adult widow deals with her grief by bedding a 15-year-old boy. The voice-over narration—supposedly by the man the boy grew to become—leaves questions. “. . . and nothing from that first day I saw her and no one that has happened to me since has ever been as frightening and as confusing. For no person I’ve ever known has ever done more to make me feel more sure and more insecure, more important and less significant. . .”
The Other End – 2016 – After a 43-year-old divorcee begins a relationship with a 17-year-old boy, they must face his parents’ disapproval and fight for their relationship.
Your Tutor – 2018 – When Savva’s parents go on vacation, they leave their teenage son in the willing hands of his fortyish female tutor. The two share a mutual attraction and quickly develop a close, personal relationship, studying more anatomy than French.
Lola’s Secret – 1984 – 16 year old Albert’s mother left for a business trip abroad, and he stays for the last week of holidays in his beautiful villa (in England). His dreams come true when the sexy new maid seduces him.
The Reader – 2008 – starring Kate Winslet – based on a book. A woman (about 40 yrs old) has a sexual relationship with a 15 year old boy. She turns out to be a ex-nazi guard who let prisoners die in a horrible fire.
Our Review: For the thought-provoking aspects, this film is worth mentioning on this site, but perhaps it is more useful to read ABOUT the film and the public’s thoughts instead of actually watching it. On the one hand it is a great example of subtle abuse by a woman with some sort of moral/personality problems and how she damages a boy’s ability to have healthy relationships as he gets older. In reading the public’s responses, it seems that many people see this as a romantic “forbidden love” tale. Perhaps there is not enough emphasis on how trauma inducing the relationship was.
Also, the male actor was 18 at the time of filming but it is clearly stated that the character is 15 years old, and there is full nudity. Would the public like this film as much if the boy was obviously 15 years old and naked? And what if the genders were reversed? In a way, perhaps the film is an excellent example of how the media and the majority of the public are oblivious to the hypocrisy and double-standard of seeing girls as victims and boys as “lucky” when an adult pushes a sexual encounter on them.
We highly recommend reading people’s comments about it (like on YouTube highlights, and samples of deleted scenes from the film). The public’s reactions reflect confusion as to why this film was made. If the film is supposed to be a romantic “forbidden love” story, would as many people like it if the genders were reversed. If it is supposed to be a demonstration of how confusing and damaging a relationship like this can be to a boy, okay, maybe it’s a useful film, but then was all the nudity necessary?
The tag lines for the film says “How far would you go to protect a secret? Unlock the mystery.” Is the secret/mystery her illiteracy… and not the secret of their romance? Many descriptions of the story don’t even mention the romance and focus on Germany’s dealing with war crimes. Perhaps the book delved more into how the relationship messed with the boy’s ability to have relationships when he got older.
TV – Law & Order Special Victims Unit
Episode…
“Mother,” a female therapist abuses a male adolescent.
“Delinquent,” a trusted adult female babysitter sexually abusing a male child.
“Parole Violation,” a corrupt female parole officer forcing sex on one of her adult male parolees, wich shows the difficulty trying to convince juries and police officers that a boy or man can be raped by a woman.
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